Final Sentence (Cookbook Nook Mystery #1)

15808868Author: Daryl Wood Gerber
Genre: Fiction
stars
“In need of a change, Jenna Hart leaves the high-pressure world of advertising to help her aunt, Vera, open a culinary bookshop and café. Back with her family in Crystal Cove, California, Jenna seems to have all the right ingredients for a fresh start—until someone adds a dash of murder.”

This book made me mourn the 2 days I wasted reading it. Even now I stare mournfully out of my window and think all of the naps I could have been taking or all the snacks I could have eaten had I not wasted my time fizzling my brain cells away reading this “book”.

There were so many blatant spelling errors in this book that I thought it was self-published. Shame on whoever the hell actually published this thing.

The book jacket also made it obvious that the author didn’t write it. It had the best writing of the entire book. The book jacket pulled me in with a lure of grammatically correct sentences and plot. But I was fooled. The character development, the writing, and the plot pacing reminded me of the first book I wrote in middle school.

And that raging dumpster fire of a novel was on a higher artistic level than Final Sentence.

In lieu of writing realistic, unique characters, the author thought that giving them a catchphrase that they said in every piece of dialogue would suffice. It only made me want to scratch my eyes out.

Too-la-roo! Hoo-boy!

She couldn’t even be bothered to use catch phrases from the 21st century.

The characters didn’t even have conversations with each other. They vomited information at each other and because it was placed in quotation marks I was supposed to consider it a conversation. Absolutely not.

There were also several strange subplots thrown in which confused me so much. Everything was so forced that the author probably knew how poorly the plot was thought out but didn’t feel like starting a new word document.

Basic English didn’t apply in this book. Neither did real life. Jenna was marketing maverick but couldn’t run a cookbook shop? Everyone who lived miles away from Desiree knew her husband was sleeping with Desiree because?

Potatoes, I guess.

What police officer would give some random civilian so much access to the crime scene, the body, and investigation? The author is American so I know she’s seen Law and Order SVU and knows what she wrote was so far gone.

On a more positive note, I’m sure I improved my breath control from all the time I spent sighing over how bad everything in the book was. If you were thinking about picking up this book, don’t bother. Just bury yourself alive, it would be less painful.

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